Living in a state of fear...
More teenage girls are getting caught up in a cycle of threat and intimidation and far too often it leads to verbal, emotional or physical violence. Philip Jenkinson investigates.
Often, misunderstandings lead to outbursts, and sometimes that can lead to violent abusive behaviour, particularly when it happens to tweens and early-year teenagers who are still working out social boundaries and more often than not, have just begun seeing somebody.
Indeed, a study conducted by Teen Research Unlimited (TRU) in November 2008, and released recently, indicates 72% say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at 14 or younger. That’s younger than things used to be, and of those in a tween relationship (11-14 year olds) 20% report that it is conducted with secrecy so that their parents don’t know.
Glyn Henman, the CEO of youth mentoring charity, Young Life Australia, believes that secrecy and isolation often lead to many more troubles for teenagers. “This is the value of organisations like Young Life in that kids have a safe and trusted environment outside the family unit who they can go to, and trained and fully screened youth leaders who they can confide in and gain confidential advice from.”
Of tweens who have been in a relationship, the TRU survey indicated that 62% said they know friends who have been verbally abused and only half of those surveyed claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship.
The study found that 24% of 14 to 17 year-olds know at least one student who has been the victim of dating violence, yet 81% of parents are either unaware of it, or turn a blind eye. What’s more, 33% of teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.
According to the Commonwealth’s Office for Women (OFW), domestic violence can be exhibited in many forms, including physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation or threats of violence. Domestic violence occurs in all geographic areas of Australia and in all socioeconomic and cultural groups, although the latest figures point to a higher incidence in younger women than in older age groups.
The TRU survey revealed that almost 20% of teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened them with physical violence or self-harm if she was to break-up with him. Worse still, over 25% of them reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.
The TRU study also found that 40% of teenage girls age 14 to 17 know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. Incredibly, almost 80% of teenage girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser.
Even more distressing is that of the teenage girls trapped in an abusive relationship, whether verbal, emotional and/or physical, only 33% of them have actually told anyone about it.
“With the reporting procedures for violence and abuse often a little intimidating, the whole process for the victim can be quite daunting and isolating,” observes Young Life’s Glyn Henman. “So it’s important for them to seek out safe and supportive friendship environments, and gain reassurance and a more positive view of themselves by being able to speak with trusted, well-trained adult role models.”
The 2005 Australian Bureau of Statistics ‘Personal Safety Survey’, estimated that only 36% of all women who experienced physical assault by a male perpetrator, and just 19% who suffered sexual assault, reported it to the police.
“Unfortunately, this occurs more often with young women with low self-esteem and, or limited friendship groups,” says Henman. “But let me tell you, most leopards don’t change their spots, and if inappropriate behaviour continues unchallenged or unchecked, in all probability, abuse is just going to continue.”
The message that arises from the issue of not reporting violence or intimidation is that the risk of things spiralling out of control is very high and very real. And that living in a state of fear can lead to life-long emotional problems for the sufferer, long after the perpetrators have moved on.
Parents, teachers and adult mentors should look for the warning signs of emotional withdrawal, severe mood changes, sudden aloofness, and of course physical bruising and injury. If in doubt, contact the relevant community services department, child protection agency, or the Police.
Date: 8 February, 2010
Author: Philip Jenkinson
Sources: Teen Research Unlimited (TLU) 11/08; Australian Bureau of Statistics ‘Personal Safety Survey’; Parish Times 1/2010; Glyn Henman 2/2010.
© Copyright Young Life Australia
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