Cyber-bullying and ‘sexting’ on the rise
With so many cases of cyber-bullying going unreported, and the practice of sex-orientated texting now so entrenched, what can be done to combat it all?
Recent cases of students being suspended from schools in Sydney and Melbourne are just the tip of the iceberg in an online age for teenagers where malicious gossip, intimidation, violence and inappropriate sexual portrayal and conduct have become commonplace.
First it was ‘Ascham’ in Sydney in mid May 2009 with a list that named 31 girls cataloguing sexual exploits, social climbing, and drug and alcohol use, posted on MySpace before it was shut down amidst nation-wide controversy.
Now comes news of parents at an exclusive girls school in Roseville being sued for refusing to pay school fees. They claim the school failed to stop bullying which led to repeated self harm with a razor and underperforming in examinations, a court was told in late August.
So what is ‘sexting’? It’s a combination of sex and SMS-ing where sexually suggestive or explicit images are sent through mobile phones and can be posted on social media sites or forwarded to friends, strangers or social rivals. We’re not talking a dozen or so people here. Often a recipient list can stretch to the thousands.
Combine this with unwelcome phone or online threats, intimidation and viscous rumour peddling... then cyber-bullying is injected into the mix. Unfortunately, the cumulative effect can push some young people over the edge.
Cyber-bullying and the texting of sexual images without the approval of the subject are unfortunately now rife in secondary school age culture. It happens at night, up at the local shops after school, as well as in the schoolyard, and even at the back of the classroom.
It’s more than just an unwelcome distraction that takes the emphasis away from learning and growing natural real-world communication skills in young people, it’s impacting participants and spectators in obviously visible and more subtle ways too.
“What sexting and cyber-assault does for victims can be emotionally straining and potentially life-destroying,” says Glyn Henman, CEO of youth mentoring charity, Young Life Australia. “Our youth leaders come across this all of the time and so often we’ve heard incidents initially start out as a joke and quickly turn into a nightmare. And as we all know, some people humiliated by being slandered to hundreds of people, can’t live with the hurt.”
But the perpetrators suffer too. Most get into the habit of not having to do face to face what is so much easier at a distance, and act without consequence, and communicate without boundaries or any sense of responsibility.
“Many teenagers kid themselves that it’s not doing any real harm,” says Henman, “and usually continue with their abuse until either they are caught or the victim breaks down and they finally have an attack of the guilts.”
Then there are the spectators of it all, and after a while impressionable teens in particular think that this is just normal acceptable sledging behaviour. “In other words,” explains Henman, “the process of humiliation from a distance is serving to desensitise unhealthy and inappropriate behaviour, and providing the very worst example of role modelling. As we all know ourselves, if something happens enough times it ceases to become shocking.”
A recent research report broadcast on Channel 9’s Today Show claims that the top fear among Australian parents is the prospect of their child becoming a victim of bullying.
Indeed, this is borne out by a parenting association called Generation Next that conducted a national survey of over 500 parents in May 2009. Their study indicated that 60% of parents nominate bullying as their greatest single concern, ahead of their children becoming a victim of crime (46%), or performing poorly at school (44%).
However, the issue goes deeper than having images, defamatory statements or postings about a person distributed via digital technology against their will. Sometimes, people do it to themselves.
You can see this ‘cyber self-harm’ in evidence all around, in the type of facebook profile image a person chooses – a shot of them having sex, drinking from a vodka bottle, posing with a replica handgun, beating up people, or wearing a demeaning / sexist t-shirt such as ‘it’s not rape, just surprise sex’ or ‘I’ve also got brains, but who cares right’.
Bad role modelling doesn’t help. In June ’09 Home & Away star Lincoln Lewis, son of NRL legend Wally, admitted filming sex with a teenage TV actress on his mobile phone, then showing the footage to his Home & Away colleagues and others. His mother was quoted as saying “how many times have I told you that things will come back and bite you if you do the wrong thing.”
Lincoln’s career was damaged, including the loss of lucrative sponsorship dollars, but his prompt admission and the fact that it was consensual minimised the consequences. But not for the girl in question. The starlet involved in the tryst will continue to be the butt of bad jokes, notoriety, and cruel innuendo for many years to come.
“To be cool, or more precisely, to be seen to be cool, is absolutely the biggest thing for teenagers, particularly young guys,” says Henman. “But both girls and guys alike don’t really think about the effect that their actions will have on them, their peers, family, job prospects, and their future relationships. Because the digital domain of today is forever and images and strings of text will travel around cyberspace without a burn-out date.”
Yet it is more sinister than just sick when it’s done to someone against their will.
Over recent months there have been an increasing number of cases both here and overseas coming to public attention. In June ‘09, the New York Post reported that a mid 30s Long Island mother is facing charges for placing a sexually suggestive online ad on ‘Craigslist’ that gave interested parties the details of a young girl, who the perpetrator believed had been arguing with her daughter at school.
The posting read, "I need a little affection... I'm blonde, I'm cute and I'll be waiting." Interested parties were directed to an e-mail address where they were given the girl's name and home phone number. Callers were unaware they were trying to reach a 9-year-old. Soon the phone was ringing off the hook with men looking for sex. Her mother said she fielded at least 50 calls in two days before she changed their home phone number.
Much closer to home came the shocking news in July 2009 of cyberbullying gone way out of control in a high school community in Geelong. It has been reported that four teenagers from the same school committed suicide as a result of being threatened and humiliated over the internet and via mobile phone messaging. The latest, a 14 year old girl, took her own life on the 17th of July. A Police investigation is still underway and Channel 9’s 60 Minutes has been prevented by the court from screening an extended report on the bullying crisis there.
“Whether you’re a teenager, parent, carer, mentor or youth worker, it all gets down to taking some responsibility,” says Young Life’s Glyn Henman. “Our charity is not an emergency response mechanism or a cure by any means, as we focus on avoidance and prevention through strong role modelling.”
“My advice to teens themselves or the adults who interact with them, is that if you have trouble working out right from wrong, then seek out help. Before potentially life-long damage is done.”
So what can be done to minimise the risk of teenagers falling victim to, or getting involved with, cyber-bullying and sexting? Short of confiscating their mobile phones and computers at night and monitoring usage 24/7, there are some things you can do for teenagers right now.
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10 PRACTICAL WAYS TO DEAL WITH SEXTING & CYBER-BULLYING.
1. Have a frank and open two-way discussion about the risks, downsides and ramifications.
2. Reinforce in teenagers that it’s smarter for them to think before they act.
3. Remind teens that bullying someone on the net, via social media posts or through a mobile, is just as bad as physically bullying a person in the ‘real world’.
4. Tell them the law – that possessing or distributing under-age pornographic images is illegal... even for kids under 16, and that a police record or prison is harsh, not cool.
5. Set some clear ground rules on appropriate mobile phone use and texting in general.
6. Reinforce in teens the need to act responsibly with MySpace, facebook, YouTube and Twitter and check their photo galleries and downloads randomly if in doubt.
7. Caution them about sexual predators and warn them against giving out personal information to strangers.
8. Consider taking the laptop/desktop out of their bedroom and into a common area.
9. Remind them that it’s okay to dob in someone who is mistreating another person.
10. Investigate filtering and image-capture logs - check out: www.netalert.gov.au
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Article Date: 27/08/2009 Author: Philip Jenkinson
Sources: SMH 8/5/09, Today Show 2/6/09, Daily Telegraph 4/6/09, Herald Sun 5/6/09, Generation Next June ‘09, Sunrise Channel 7 – 22/7/09; SMH 27/8/09; Glyn Henman, August ‘09.
Young Life Australia is a not-for-profit registered Christian charity that assists youths navigate through the difficult teenage years and builds self-esteem, resilience, and values. The organisation operates in Sydney, rural N.S.W., Brisbane A.C.T. & Melbourne. For more information visit www.younglife.org.au or call 1300 557 647 toll-free.
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